|
Post by Homeloaf on Feb 14, 2006 23:13:09 GMT
I don't know about anybody else out there, but I'm fed up with the concept of self esteem. Or at least the use of it...
Prepare yourself for a shocking statement:
I believe that you should actually do something before you're proud of it!
I know. I'm terrible. But to be proud of yourself, shouldn't you first achieve something? It's gotten so out of hand, that teachers in Myrtle Point aren't allowed to flunk a student without his parents' permission. Because it might hurt their self esteem. I see this as being wholly stupid.
|
|
|
Post by earlofqb on Feb 15, 2006 1:57:26 GMT
Hear hear!
(more on this later, have to log off now and go to bed)
|
|
|
Post by mopsy on Feb 15, 2006 2:50:27 GMT
I... want Myrtle Point. The lack of fear of flunking would've made my middle school years alot easier.
But that really is sad. On that general topic I think they're crediting to many diseases (obesity, is the first thing I can think of) with it being mental and that when you think it's true it becomes so. I don't know the exact science behind this so I can't make a more definite statement but I dont believe it. Granted I'm a twig, my 9 year old brother weighs more than me. (blinks)(
|
|
|
Post by Homeloaf on Feb 15, 2006 4:21:01 GMT
I think that people use ADD and ADHD and the like as excuses. Someone says, "I'm so fat! I can't do that!" They blame genetics and stuff. I'll allow that genetics play a part, but jeez! If you see a gigantic person at the county fair, with a corndog hanging out of her mouth like a cigarette, and some sort of carnival pastry in one hand, a chicken in the other, you're not gonna say, "I bet it's just a gland problem."
People need to wake up and smell reality. I may only be 14, but my BS radar has been honed well.
|
|
|
Post by phycowelder on Feb 15, 2006 13:22:31 GMT
well, i have suposidly have ADD and i weigh 272Lbs. i neither uses my add as a crutch, and i can still see my feet along with my twig n berrys!
self esteem is "you thinks or know you can do it" more so than "you are King god $h!t and you are beneith every one." but along as with every thing out there it is all a point of view! people who should have SE doent and people who shouldnt have SE do.! LOL
|
|
|
Post by earlofqb on Feb 15, 2006 22:11:10 GMT
Are you talking about me, mopsy?
:up That's an example of some horribly-displaced mental re-education.
Anyway, according to psychologists, its all a mental problem. I'm not actually fat, I'm just inside a fat person. I'm not short, I'm just standing next to people who are too tall for me. I'm not stupid, I'm just mentally deferred. I'm not a chauvinist, others simply pretend that I'm acting elitistical. I'm not anorexic, I simply have "body issues". I'm a team player, no one else is. I simply need "positive reinforcement" so that I stop brutally killing people after sodomizing their dogs.
As you can see, for all the advances made using psychology, it has advanced into a "not me" problem. Its not my fault that it felt good to rip the cold steel through their throats, its theirs for letting me do it. Its not my fault no one likes me, its their fault for not liking me. Its not my fault I have "body issues", but rather the media's for putting the idea in my head (well, in some cases, this is true). Its not my fault that I can't read, but the System's for making literacy so difficult to attain. Its not my fault that I'm fat, but McDonald's and Arby's.
As far as having too much self esteem, one could say I suffer from this problem. However, it does help whenever you see everyone around you failing, despite your desparate efforts to help them (rf to drug problems and problems stemming from that. Ever see your best friend walk to school, high off his {censored}? I learned a very quick lesson in learning that for as much as I know this person, I actually don't know them. Needless to say, Earl's_Friends --; )
Finally, good for you, phycowelder, for not allowing that to be an excuse, and for trying to overcome it. I wish you well in your endeavours.
|
|
|
Post by mopsy on Feb 16, 2006 0:58:14 GMT
And I can't type coherent thoughts. But not ALL psychology is like you described, Earl, there are quite a few highly intelligent psychologist.
|
|
|
Post by earlofqb on Feb 16, 2006 1:38:44 GMT
Well, would it surprise you if I said I was a psychologist? Well, I'm an amateur one who toys with the idea of seriously studying it, but you can get the idea.
From the various forums I've been at, I know that the basis of psychology is to redirect the patient's feelings away from themselves, and towards something else (person/object). This is to preserve the "fragile" nature of the patient's mind and allow them to feel good about themselves.
Of course, after time, you do teach the patient slowly that it is their fault and help them over come this. However, the majority of the time, you end up redirecting the patient's feelings towards something else.
e.g. Male patient: "I can't find me a date!" -- has issues with women because mother was distant or neglectful. First start by informing patient of this and reconciling with mother. Then work on developing healthy attitudes towards women in general. Finally, if all else fails, tell him what you think is wrong with his approaches and play "date coach".
As you can see, actually fixing the problem is low on the list. Another example:
e.g. "I'm fat" --Weight issues. Has depression caused by a void in life. Tell patient to find void in life, or to reconcile with mother (Freudian psychology: mother is to blame for all). Teach patient alternate ways to deal with emotional pain than to eat. Rewire patient so that healthier activities are used instead of eating (ie, eat only for energy. Elsewise, exercise). Finally, failing all this, throw fattie into weight-watchers and get him gastric bypass because its obvious fat-{censored} doesn't want to stick on a bloody diet!
Yep, I should've waited a while before posting this (recently read infuriating artile). I should revise this, but beddy-bye is soon and I don't want a major mental feat of re-writing all that I said so it is more PC for you all. Hopefully you get my point, and if not, hate me forever then (I'm tired of all this being nice to folks until they get my point. Sure, it has its advantages, but it's entirely too much stress to watch everything you say and do so it won't "offend" someone (because they've low self-esteem)).
|
|
|
Post by Mikrondel on Feb 16, 2006 5:35:11 GMT
Pfft, I think your argument is terrific.
Basically, for a psychologist, I say, do whatever works well.
But if you pad school with cushions, or pass students that should be failing so that your school looks good or whatnot, then you're going to individuals who can't handle the world at large.
Sure a small proportion of students have real problems and need special help, but the rest of the students shouldn't be treated the same way, otherwise they just won't be exposed to a healthy dose of pressure, challenges, and problems.
A similar kind of thing applies to self-esteem problems on the whole.
|
|
|
Post by Homeloaf on Feb 16, 2006 7:23:05 GMT
Well said. All of you. Especially Earl, otherwise he'll kill me.
|
|
|
Post by earlofqb on Feb 17, 2006 0:20:28 GMT
ROFLMAO! Also, I'm still feeling the not-so-kind feeling towards appeasing others. Of course, screaming at people, although a "bad social decision" feels good, and I'm having fun telling everyone how it is Too bad people are starting to ask if I went mad (because apparantly when one is polite for so long, one should be like that forever and allow the stress to build up until one goes insane and kills 50 people in a psychotic rage), and I simply reply "either now, or with an Uzi ". Thanks QB-land, you saved me from going insane (just another way this forum has saved my life).
|
|
|
Post by Homeloaf on Feb 17, 2006 5:15:27 GMT
Well, about the screaming thing...
As I walk through the halls in school, I will go up to somebody (usually somebody I'm friendly with) and just, well, squawk... It's immensely fun, and you get weird looks. Of course, I'm on the social level of most lichen and sea moss...
|
|
|
Post by phycowelder on Feb 17, 2006 13:39:34 GMT
ya, i was th under dog of the UNDER DOGS. not a soul carred about me in highschool! my PC was my best friend,
at least work life is alright compared to HS.
|
|
|
Post by mopsy on Feb 17, 2006 15:12:33 GMT
Haha, I'm with you there, homeloaf. Granted I just moved so I don't expect to be well liked. I goto a hick school/town/group of buildings they call a town and I wear all black and I have collarbone level black hair. Haha, they hate me. It's funny though, because some of the other freshies are scared of me. Most of them are immature annoying little brats though so I can't say that's a bad thing.
|
|
|
Post by earlofqb on Feb 19, 2006 2:07:23 GMT
I'm the winner of the popular unpopular kid award. Seriously, everyone knows who I am, but I'm not popular. I don't get invited to stuff, but people act almost like I'm popular. Its very paradoxical.
Yep, I do say hi to folks I see in the halls. Of course, I don't squwk, I call their name and maybe say hi or wave or "pound" (ie punch fists together). Its really spiffy and I sort of "brought it" to my school (well, it was already there, but I made it slightly more popular by doing it to everyone I know).
|
|
|
Post by Homeloaf on Feb 19, 2006 17:17:19 GMT
Well, as with mopsy, most people know who I am. I'm an uber dork, but I'm still well liked. I'm only an eighth grader, but I have mostly high-school classes. And it's weird. Older chicks dig me. Most of my friends are older girls. My best friend's a Junior girl, and my 2nd and 3rd runner ups are both Sophomore girls. It's most dandy...
|
|
|
Post by mopsy on Feb 19, 2006 23:47:41 GMT
I've found that I can only befriend girls anymore. Most of my real life guy friends are still in the dick and fart jokes stage of their life. I can deal with that occasionally, even laugh at it occasionally but when that's all you hear from a person EVER it get's really annoying. Really, really, really, annoying.
|
|
|
Post by Mikrondel on Feb 20, 2006 8:55:27 GMT
<elitism>Well, I go to an expensive school that is really, really worth it. The teachers are all extremely good, and I must say the stuff we do makes me feel so... cultured. It's also a selective school (i.e. you have to do really well in the entrance exam to get in-- this literally means it only lets in the top 2% of kids in the state)</elitism> and for one thing, this means that most people either play classical music, like learning languages, go to the library a lot, love their computers or some other symptom of being sophisticated. This means that you don't get rejected for being geeky very much.
Of course I'm surrounded by many intelligent people, and not by average dummies, which is going to reduce my self-esteem, in that I'm not "better than everyone". But it also kills any real elitism in exactly the same way. So, I don't have that to complain about. And I must say for me that high school is terrific.
|
|