Song Writing Contest!!!

[Homeloaf]

I've been hit with a genius idea. Using the title as a base, write a song. Yes, my band will actually play the winner.

Titles:

1. Trouble on the Short Bus

2. Jesus Goes to Disneyland

3. Save the Drama fo' a Llama

[Mikrondel]

Ooh, I'm not very good at this as far as I know, but let's try number 3.

This will be extremely weird.

- Save the Drama fo' a Llama -

It's been thirteen year
- or maybe more -
Since I hit that deer
with my car door

As I got my door replaced,
I said this gotta be bad karma.
I let your warning go to waste,
"Save the drama fo' a llama"

Years later, in a restaurant,
I was leaning on a fish tank.
A big fish smashed into the glass
And for the bill I had it to thank.

All wet and angry, no surprise,
I swore about the owner's mama.
But looking straight into my eyes,
You said, save the drama fo' a llama.

One day walking to a meeting,
I kicked a dog out of my way.
It ripped my suit, and started eating,
I've been unemployed until this day.

Complaining 'bout my shirts and ties,
I thought I might become a farmer
Yet again you being wise, said,
Save the drama fo' a llama.

Well, I found one, found at last,
A llama somewhere in the hills.
Following your words, I cast
Enough complaints at it to kill.

Oh, save the drama fo' a llama,
Save the drama fo' a llama.
I saved the drama, saved the drama
for this llama, yes, this llama.

And what happened after?
Did I once more become a winner?
Perhaps this will provoke some laughter:
The llama had me for dinner.

------------------------
<disjointed and confused applause>


Mhm. If you actually DO think it's worth anything, feel free to make changes or whatnot.

[Homeloaf]

That was so awesome I asploded. I'll run it by my band-mates.

[Homeloaf]

Oh boy! I'd sure like some new ones! C'mon, guys! This is an opportunity to be an unjustified moron, and none of you have taken it up! Are you not goofy enough?

Mikrondel gets mad proops (yes, proops) for this. He gets mad brownie points, while you all sit stagnant.

[Ildûrest]

OK, this is some comedy from "Trouble on the Short Bus"

<read out by one of the speakers prior to song>
We wish to inform you that all occurences of the word "midget" in this song have been replaced by more politically correct terms, due to threats of legal action by the Dwarf Dignity Society.
</read out by one of the speakers prior to song>

Hey! Once in vertically-challenged-ville,
The short bus rolled down the hill,
It rolled right to the yellow sign,
That said "Bus Stop Number thirty-nine"

A couple of dwarves boarded quietly,
When up ran another two suddenly,
But these were vertically-challenged punks,
They got on pushing, shoving, and they really stunk.

Chorus:
Hey! Trouble on the short bus, short bus short bus;
Trouble on the short bus, on the short bus.

It might have turned out harmlessly,
But somehow that wasn't to be,
They laughed at someone elderly,
And even spoke profanity.

[Chorus]

A pleasant soul who was lacking in height,
Got up and tried to set things right,
He told them off for what they'd done,
But laughing one pulled out a gun.

[Chorus]

The lights turned red, the brakes came on,
But balance was not an issue for anyone,
For as we all know, Dwarves are stable.
So what is the end to this epic fable?


<to be continued>

[Homeloaf]

That was awesome! Ya know, I think we might have to use all of these! Keep 'em coming, you guys are brilliant!

[earlofqb]

I'll try my hand. I'll take the only song left unsung, Jesus Goes to Disneyland:

One fine day, third Tuesday in May;
Our Lord and Saviour went to the land of Disney to vacation all day.
He stood by the gate, fearful of all the hate;
He surely knew that W Disney wanted Him for a date.

[Chorus]

Oh, Jesus having fun down in D-land! Trying to reform the sinners and the losers.
We all know that D-land is for hosers and weak boozers.
So why, oh why didn't I get my free prize?

[/chorus]

Well, ole Jesus, he was quick;
He saw W Disney was a dick.
He decided to introduce him to his friend Rick,
and the two of them had fun that was sick!

[Chorus]

Then came a group of hippies,
each of them walking around looking for pities.
Jesus decided he'd heal them,
and their horrible addictions were replaced with His Grace!

[Chorus]

Then Our Lord met a family just like he preached;
ever so glad was he that in the park he did teach.
Preached of peace and of unity,
then came a psycho who ran around in his nudity!

[Chorus]

Well, ole Jesus was none to pleased,
having spent his time seeing the spiritually diseased;
He decided to cast his lot upon the Earth,
and in 30 years we're all going to rot in the earth.

[Chorus]

Let all know our tune quite well,
you know we're all going to hell.
So, sing this phrase one last time,
before the ringing of the funeral bell:

[Chorus]

Why, OH WHY! Didn't I get my free prize!!!!!

[mopsy]

That in combination with the Llama song in the background was quite interesting in my head. (blinks)

[Homeloaf]

(Specifically for mopsy) Ha ha ha!!! You said "dick!"

But seriously, this is awesome. You probably wouldn't believe this, but I used to be lead guitarist for a youth group band. Yeah, I was Jesus's guitarist. That was an all time low.

[mopsy]

(grumbles) dasjklfhsakljfhansl

I... wont take your thread but, I will say, I don't understand why they find that funny.

[Homeloaf]

Nor do I. I just don't understand the whole mentality behind,"Oh boy, guys! Bodily functions! Whoopee! Those sure are funny!"

Not to steal my thread, of course.

[mopsy]

I have a tendency to do that though. And then we all veer off topic. And then I burst into laughter when I notice what this started as. Like the stars thread.

[earlofqb]

You're all bloody insane! Take two and call the doctor in the morning.

[Homeloaf]

Is that what they taught you... At FAT CAMP??? (refer to... I don't remember which thread)

[mopsy]

I think fat camp is before my time (blinks) I'm curious now. GAAH

[Ildûrest]

Fat camp is where overweight children are sent to exercise and eat less, therefore become more healthy and look better. They're becoming MORE common as, um, fatness, increases.

Now, I'd like to delete some of the more useless 1-liner posts soon. The ones that might have been mildly funny but don't say anything at all. If anyone has objections, raise them here, otherwise it'll just become standard policy to remove the useless stuff after several days and after they become buried in replies.

I probably won't bother for the trivial threads, but those with discussions in them that someone might decide to read someday will be "dusted" a bit.
What say?

[earlofqb]

Uhh... I never went to fat camp. I did go to phat camp, where I learned to be a lady-killer and player extraordinaire.

As far as insulting me, go for it. Without trying to insult you, I'll say this succinctly: I have more than enough friends and that to keep me going, and I've even lost 20 lbs since this summer. Sure, it's not a vast improvement, but it's a step in the right direction. At this pace, I'll be "adequate" by next summer

Now, hopefully you weren't insulted, however something folks learn over time is that I'll fight back. So, with this knowledge, stay from the insults against my personal self, and insult my ideas and other intellectual topics. I'd rather not this go into a massive argument, so any slanderous statements after this post will be outright ignored.

Enjoy your day

[Homeloaf]

I meant no insult. I've been saying, "Is that what they taught you... AT FAT CAMP?" to just about everybody I know. Especially the really skinny dudes. I'm sorry if I offended you, or came off as though I wanted to. Oh Supreme Ruler of the Universe...